My brain feels foggy, and my body is sluggish. I'm certainly not on my A game lately. I blame it on the bugs. A couple of weeks ago, Benny started waking up off an on all through the nights going on and on about some pretend bugs coming to get him. Looking back on the night it's quite endearing thinking back on Benny's sweet worried face telling me about it. His lisp makes everything he says that much cuter. Kam or I take turns snuggling him back to sleep. Kam made Benny some "protection spray" out of water and something that smells good. Benny sprays his room, bed, and himself down right before bed, and he's good to go. It's been working great up until last night. I awoke hearing bits and pieces of his muttering on and on about the big bugs. Feeling like a zombie, I was frustrated about my interrupted sleep, but I pulled myself out of bed and took him by the hand. I went up to tuck him back in and his bed was all wet. He had woken up in a panic and reached for the spray. I changed some blankets, rubbed his sore knee, then snuggled in with him to try and get a hour more of sleep before I had to wake up Jake for school. Benny finally stopped talking his bug gibberish and I could see him begin to relax and drift off in the lava lamp light. His last words before he fell asleep were, "Momma, you are my bug protection."
Being a mom can be a thankless job. The daily grind and sacrifice can really wear a person down. There is no public recognition and no pat on the back for the simple successes. My realization for tonight is, I'm irreplaceable. I am a source of strength, encouragement, love, and protection that no one can duplicate for my three in the same way. It is painful and joyful, messy and perfect. It isn't easy ridding the world of pretend bugs at 4:00am, but someone has to do it.
Benny Bug chowing down on a crepe from the crepe truck.
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